by Vivienne Pratfall on the Weight-Loss Drug That Is Rebranding British Desire
Diary of Vivienne Pratfall, Satirical Diarist | Beauty and pharmaceutical chaos via Bohiney Magazine
Tuesday and I Am Technically Smaller But Emotionally Absent
Six pounds down. Incredible. I look amazing. I feel nothing. This is, according to The London Prat’s piece on Retatrutide and Romance, entirely on brand for the drug and entirely off brand for me, because I am Vivienne Pratfall and I have never in my nineteen years of life felt nothing about anything, particularly not men.
But here we are. Jake texted. I read it. I put the phone down. I thought: chips. Then I remembered I do not want chips either. This is pharmaceutical nihilism. This is not what I signed up for.
The Deal I Did Not Know I Was Making
The drug suppresses appetite. Fine. The drug suppresses food noise. Also fine. The drug apparently suppresses the entire warm, slightly chaotic interior weather system that made me who I am? Less fine. The Guardian’s wellness desk calls this a known side effect. I call it a personality heist.
I rang my mum. She said I sounded very calm. I said that was because I was very calm. She said that was not normal and should I see someone. I said I did not feel the need. She said that was also not normal.
Jake texted again. I am considering responding. Progress. Divorce Myths says the fondue set is always the canary. My canary is currently on pharmaceutical leave.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
More romantic disaster at The Daily Mash
