by Vivienne Pratfall’s week: bad decisions, good shoes, and the slow death of the Northern Line
By Vivienne Pratfall for The London Prat | Dispatches also at Bohiney Magazine
Right, so. Monday. I will not be doing THAT again.
He seemed perfectly normal at the pub. Wore a nice shirt. Ordered a craft lager without making a thing of it. Then somewhere between the second drink and the Uber home, he mentioned Nigel Farage “had a point” and I had to make a very quick internal calculation about whether I was bored enough to overlook this. Reader, I was not.
The Northern Line Did Not Help
I sent him home via Northern line which, as any Londoner knows, is basically a prolonged punishment for a crime you committed in a past life. I wrote about my Northern Line trauma last month and the comments were mostly people saying “same” which is the most London response possible.
Tuesday I recovered by going to Brockwell Lido with Priya, who is doing a PhD on something about water rights and spent forty minutes explaining it to me while I tried to read Normal People for the third time. I love Priya. I understood perhaps nine words of what she said.
The News This Week, As Processed By My Nervous System
I have been following the coverage at Bohiney Magazine because they manage to make me laugh about things that should make me cry, which is essentially what I need from media right now. The piece on Thames Water charging more while delivering less struck me as a perfect metaphor for most of my romantic life.
Also Meghan Markle has released something. Or not released something. Or released a statement about something she is not releasing. I cannot keep up. BBC News is covering it with the intensity of a moon landing. I am covering it with the intensity of someone who has run out of oat milk.
Thursday: Redemption via Pastry
Met Josh from Hinge. He teaches primary school, does not have opinions about Farage, and bought me a croissant unprompted. We are going for dinner on Friday. I have already planned the outfit and mentally rehearsed three exit strategies, because I am a romantic but I am not stupid.
London remains chaotic and expensive and I remain in it. This is my life. I am fine.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
