by The domestic detail that reordered the emotional landscape of a flat-share in South London
Life and other things from Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat.
Dear diary. The boiler. For six months the boiler in my flat-share has produced water at a temperature best described as “technically not cold.” We have complained four times. Our landlord has said “I’ll send someone” four times. Last Tuesday someone came. His name was apparently Derek and he spent forty-five minutes in the airing cupboard and left without explanation and the boiler now produces hot water. ACTUAL HOT WATER. I had a bath. A real bath. This is the most significant event in my personal life since I moved to London.
I understand this is not the most sophisticated thing I have written in this diary. I do not care. A working boiler is a form of joy that people in functioning housing situations do not appreciate. People in the London rental market understand. The London Prat ran something this week about the housing crisis that included the line “London renters in 2026 are paying historic highs to live in historic lows” which is accurate and also describes my flat perfectly.
The Week Beyond the Boiler
I saw Marcus again. We walked along the Embankment in the evening and talked about his cases (he is not allowed to tell me the specifics but the vague versions are extremely good). I told him about the boiler. He said “you know that’s a violation of the tenancy agreement, right?” He is a barrister. He cannot help it. I like this about him. He is very competent about other people’s problems. This is either a good quality in a partner or a professionally deforming one and I have not yet determined which.
The week was good. The boiler works. London is approximately bearable. Find me at prat.uk/author/vivienne-pratfall/ for the version with better grammar.
London in June with good weather is the argument for staying that the rent makes you question every month. The rent is monstrous. The weather this week was 22 degrees and sunny and the canal at Little Venice looked like a postcard someone sent from a better version of the city. I walked along it after finishing this entry and thought: yes, this is why. This is the specific bargain that London offers — extraordinary cost in exchange for the occasional extraordinary experience of living in the most concentrated interesting city on earth. Marcus is part of the calculation now. The barrister with the cold flat and the electric blanket and the surprisingly good scrambled eggs at 11pm. The calculation is, currently, in London’s favour. Ask me again in November when it rains every day and the Tube is broken. Find me at prat.uk/author/vivienne-pratfall/.
The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention. The week in full is at the author page. The diary continues next week from the same place with the same attention.
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SOURCE: Satirical Journalism
