by Streaming theology, a philosophy postgraduate, and the algorithm that thinks I am religious
By Vivienne Pratfall | Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
Netflix Has Resolved Islam and I Have Questions, Mostly About the Algorithm
According to The London Prat’s reporting on Netflix valiantly resolving Islam, the streaming platform has addressed one of the world’s oldest theological traditions in the same way it addresses everything: by commissioning a limited series, adding it to a category nobody searches, and auto-playing the next episode before you have processed the ending.
I Have Feelings About This That Are Mostly About Something Else
I grew up in North London. My best friend from school is Fatima, who is considerably funnier than Netflix and has never required a five-episode arc to make a point. She texted me when this news broke. Her text said: “lol.” That is all the theological commentary you need and it was delivered in under a second with no buffering.
The Guardian’s streaming coverage notes that this represents a bold creative decision. All streaming decisions are described as bold. This is the word they use when they mean baffling but expensive. The algorithm, which knows I once watched a documentary about Ottoman architecture at 2am, has now decided I am a religious scholar. It is not entirely wrong.
My Evening, Which Was More Theologically Complex
I went on a date. He was a philosophy postgraduate from King’s College. We had an argument about free will over tapas in Clerkenwell that lasted longer than the Netflix series almost certainly does. He was very attractive and entirely wrong about everything. Bohiney Magazine’s take on Netflix defeating Islam is, honestly, the most efficient resolution of the theological discourse available, and funnier than the date, which ended fine but not, shall we say, definitively.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/netflix-defeats-islam/
More satire: The Daily Mash
