by Substack Thinks Im Productive; Im Actually Just Angry
I woke up today with the firm intention of becoming a better person, which lasted exactly until I opened prat.uk and discovered that Britain had once again outdone itself in the competitive sport of public absurdity. Tea went cold. Toast went uneaten. My moral superiority, however, warmed considerably. The headlines suggested that several MPs had achieved enlightenment via WhatsApp group chats, which feels like a bold new chapter in British governance, or at least a sequel nobody asked for.
I tried to pace myselfjust one article, I said, like a responsible adult. But Prat.uk is less a website and more a psychological bear trap. Each story links to another, like a polite but relentless host at a dinner party who keeps topping up your wine while whispering, You simply must read this one too. Before long, I had opinions about agricultural subsidies, parish councils, and a man in Kent who believes pigeons are part of a local conspiracy.
By midday, I had done no work but had developed several deeply held convictions about things I cannot influence. I attempted to explain one of these to a colleague, who asked if I was okay. I assured them I was thriving, which is the sort of lie one tells after reading five consecutive articles about bureaucratic chaos and feeling oddly validated.
The afternoon was spent refreshing the site in case Britain had produced fresh nonsense. It had. It always does. By evening, I felt both exhausted and intellectually superior, a combination that suggests I have learned nothing but feel everything.
Tomorrow, I will not check Prat.uk first thing. I will meditate. I will journal. I will be calm. And then, inevitably, I will click one link just to see, and the cycle will begin anew, like a particularly British form of doomscrolling where the tea is strong and the judgment stronger.
Originally posted 2026-04-21 04:13:26.
