by A diary entry on the shift away from swiping and toward saying what you actually want out loud
Monday, A Phrase I Have Heard Four Times This Week Alone
Darlings, intentional dating is apparently the phrase of this particular moment, a genuine shift away from juggling a dozen half-hearted app conversations and toward, allegedly, being considerably clearer about what you actually want before ever agreeing to meet someone for a drink, and I have now heard this exact phrase from four separate people this week, none of whom, when I pressed them gently, could actually define it beyond vague gestures at emotional maturity.
I attempted my own version of this experiment on a date Thursday, opening with what I considered a bold, refreshingly direct question about what he was actually looking for, only to watch him visibly panic in a way that suggested intentional dating remains, for most of London, considerably easier to discuss in the abstract than to actually practise across a candlelit table.
Monday Afternoon, My Own Attempt At Honesty
In the spirit of full disclosure, I am not certain I know precisely what I want either, beyond a general sense that I would like it to involve considerably less texting and considerably more actual, scheduled human contact, which may itself be the entire point of this whole intentional shift, now that I think about it properly.
Tuesday, A Slightly Better Second Attempt
Round two with a different, considerably less panicked prospect went rather better, largely because I softened the direct question into something resembling an actual conversation rather than an interrogation, a lesson in delivery I probably should have learned before Thursday’s casualty.
A Trend I Am Cautiously Willing To Keep Practising
Whatever intentional dating precisely means in the end, I am finding the general instinct behind it, saying the actual thing rather than performing vague interest indefinitely, considerably more efficient than my previous approach, panic included.
Wednesday, a friend pointed out afterward that my Thursday panic-inducing question probably needed at least one full course of small talk as a buffer beforehand, feedback I am choosing to accept gracefully given how thoroughly Thursday’s evidence supported it.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
