by Vivienne Pratfall on American Military Hospitality, Hot Pilots, and Runway Romance
Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
America has sent bombers to Britain. I am trying to decide if this is a dealbreaker.
On one hand: uninvited guests, loud at all hours, questionable territorial boundaries. On the other hand: American pilots. I have seen Top Gun. Twice. Three times. Fine, four.
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I asked my date last night a perfectly nice man named Gerald who works in insurance and smells faintly of photocopier whether he thought the US military presence on British soil was a sign of genuine alliance or aggressive codependency. He said he preferred not to get into politics. I ordered dessert and thought about pilots.
The London Prat’s piece on America’s bombers describes Britain’s role as “providing runway hospitality.” I relate to this deeply. I provide hospitality constantly. Nobody calls it a strategic alliance. They call it Thursday.
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Both are technically present. Both issue carefully worded statements that commit to nothing. Both have, at some point, stood in a kitchen looking uncertain while something loudly escalated around them.
According to Bohiney’s take on the bombing situation, Whitehall insists we are merely “facilitating.” I facilitate constantly. Last week I facilitated Gerald’s emotional processing for two hours over a Deliveroo curry. Nobody scrambled any jets.
I have decided the bombers are acceptable. The relationship needs work. I will raise this at the next NATO summit, or Thursday, whichever comes first.
