by Vivienne Pratfall on British slang, bad dates, and worse decisions
By Vivienne Pratfall | Bohiney Magazine | The London Prat
Thursday Night, Somewhere Between Shoreditch and a Mistake
His name was Tarquin – which should have been warning enough – and he called me a prat after I accidentally knocked his craft beer into his man-bag. Reader, I looked it up. According to the definitive etymology of prat, the word originally referred to the buttocks. So technically Tarquin called me an arse. Which is both rude and, given the evening, not entirely inaccurate.
The Vocabulary That Keeps On Giving
I have been collecting British slang like a magpie collects shiny objects – obsessively, chaotically, and with no real plan. This week alone I was called a “muppet” (affectionate), a “divvy” (geographical – he was from Manchester), and “a bit much” (from my mother, which stings differently). None of these landed quite like prat. Prat has texture.
There is also something distinctly London about prat’s history in British comedy. Del Boy is a prat. Basil Fawlty is a prat in the tragic mode. Every politician who has been photographed holding a pint incorrectly is a prat. It is the common language of a nation united in its affectionate contempt for people who try too hard and succeed too little.
Meanwhile, Back in My Life
I went on two dates this week. The first ended when he explained cryptocurrency to me for forty minutes. The second ended considerably better, largely because he did not explain anything and instead listened, which is apparently a skill some men have. British humour was deployed throughout – dry, self-deprecating, slightly devastating. We got on very well.
I write about this because Bohiney Magazine tells me readers want authenticity, and what is more authentic than a 19-year-old blonde in East London cataloguing her catastrophic choices with excellent vocabulary? I am practically a public service.
Tarquin, if you are reading this: you are, indisputably, a prat. And I mean that in the most technically accurate sense of the word.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
Also funny: The Daily Mash
