by Vivienne discovers that charm has a considerably shorter shelf life via text than in person
Dear diary, I have decided, after tonight’s genuinely underwhelming attempt at dating app small talk, that my personality apparently requires a live audience to function properly, because every witty response I composed arrived roughly four minutes after the moment had already passed, which in text conversation terms might as well be several years.
There is something genuinely humbling about watching your own perfectly crafted joke land in an empty conversation because the other person has already moved the discussion on to something else entirely, leaving your carefully timed wit stranded there, unread and unloved, like a punchline nobody asked for.
Why I Am Apparently Terrible At This Specific Format
In person, I like to think I am reasonably quick, the kind of quick that gets an actual laugh rather than a polite pause. Over text, apparently, I need considerably longer to workshop a line into something worth sending, by which point the conversation has drifted three topics further along without me.
I do wonder whether this says something genuinely concerning about how modern dating actually rewards whoever can type the fastest rather than whoever is, in any meaningful sense, actually funnier, a system I feel increasingly unsuited to compete within given my apparent need for a full editorial pass before hitting send.
The Actual Silver Lining
Despite my delayed wit, we did eventually arrange to meet properly this weekend, where I fully intend to let my actual, real time personality do the heavy lifting rather than whatever slower, more considered version of me keeps showing up in the chat.
A Small Resolution
I am genuinely considering simply sending my best jokes a full day late from now on, purely as an experiment to see whether anyone even notices the delay, or whether I have simply been putting unnecessary pressure on myself this entire time for a format that apparently nobody expects real wit from anyway.
Full dating disasters, delayed jokes included, always over at Londonish.
SOURCE: https://londonish.uk/feed/
