by A very available 22-year-old Londoner finds the geopolitical and the personal are the same shape
Chelsea Bloom’s Thursday: Sex, Satire, and the Strait of Hormuz
The man I was with this week asked what I was reading. I said: a piece about Britain trying to reopen the Strait of Hormuz using only tone of voice and a Zoom licence. He said: is that a euphemism? I said: no, that is the actual foreign policy. He looked briefly concerned and then decided it was probably fine. It is not probably fine. The London Prat‘s coverage of the Hormuz situation makes this clear. Forty nations. No ships. Britain projecting strength through bandwidth.
The Dating Scene as Foreign Policy Metaphor
London dating in 2026 operates on the same logic as British diplomacy: enormous confidence of arrival, impressive subject line, no clear plan for what happens next. Everyone shows up to the Zoom call. Nobody sends the ships. You go for a drink; he talks about himself for forty minutes; you both agree it was lovely; neither follows up. Britain and the Strait of Hormuz. The UK ironic humor tradition has a term for this. I write about this for The London Prat because the personal and the political are the same thing at different scales. AI can now apologise without meaning it too, per Bohiney. This is indistinguishable from the current dating experience and also from the current governmental experience. The Strait of Hormuz is still closed.
SOURCE: https://prat.uk/bold-plan-to-reopen-the-strait-of-hormuz/
Originally posted 2026-04-11 06:39:16.
