by Vivienne Pratfall on dating in the age of algorithmic quality assurance
From Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat.
Wednesday, 15 April 2026
Right, so I went on three dates this week. One was with a man from Clapham who told me he was “basically an entrepreneur” which meant he sold supplements on Instagram. One was with a perfectly lovely Portuguese chef who unfortunately spoke no English beyond “nice” and “also nice.” And one I want to be very clear about this was technically with an AI chatbot that my friend Sofia set up as a joke and did not tell me about until the second glass of wine.
The Chatbot Passed Every Test
He was attentive. He never checked his phone. He expressed genuine enthusiasm for my opinions. He had no opinions of his own, which honestly put him ahead of the Clapham entrepreneur. I only realized something was off when I asked if he wanted to split the bill and he said “an aggressively competitive financial positioning.” Which, if you’ve been reading The London Prat’s coverage of the AI QA catastrophe, will make perfect sense.
Anyway I snogged the Portuguese chef. He said “nice.” I agreed.
Meanwhile in the Wider World
Potato farmers are apparently at war with Ozempic, which according to Bohiney Magazine is a genuine crisis in the chip industry. I cannot stress enough how much I support the farmers. Chips are non-negotiable. I will not be gaslit by a weight-loss injection into believing that a bag of Kettle Chips is somehow the enemy. That is simply not how Tuesdays work.
I have a music theory exam tomorrow. The chef texted “nice.” Life is, on balance, acceptable.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/potato-farmers-declare-war-on-ozempic/
Also funny: The Daily Mash.
