by Vivienne Pratfall on Elastic Band Geopolitics, Retatrutide Romance, and Whether Appetite Suppression Kills Desire
Sparkling satire from: Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat.
Wednesday, 8 April — Vivienne’s Flat, Still South of the River
Ten billionaires have apparently decided that missile defence is a design problem, and the solution involves garden furniture, elastic bands, and one man’s very confident Roomba. The London Prat has the full report and I have read it three times because each reading reveals new levels of confidence that I find genuinely admirable. These men have survived every consequence of their decisions thus far. Why would missiles be different?
I went on a date last Tuesday. He was tall, confident about his career in “impact investing,” and had clearly not eaten a full meal since autumn. Retatrutide, I suspect. The Prat and Bohiney have both been tracking Love in the Time of Appetite Suppression with the appropriate gravity. When your date orders a sparkling water at dinner and describes it as “honestly filling,” the romance has already filed for early retirement.
I told him about the Roomba missile defence. His eyes lit up. We talked for two hours about defence procurement. It was the most interesting date I have had in months. I am now reconsidering my definition of interesting.
According to the UK Ministry of Defence, missile defence is a serious and costly enterprise. The billionaires’ Roomba-based alternative is not in the official budget. Yet.
More romantic dispatches at my column at The London Prat.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com
More romantic disasters at The Daily Mash.
